Buff

I'm not a fit man. I've never been good at sport, never did much excercise, ate about my own weight in cheese and potatoes (delicious when combined) a week. However, a few months ago, i decided this had to change! So - The ford capri way to lose the flab and get fit.

Dieting.
Stop laughing shitheads, I just mean lay off the extra block of cheddar before you go to bed. nothing crazy.

Jogging.
Ok, this is a good one. Set yourself a target, and work up to it. Jogging 30 mins non-stop, five times a week is a good one. Go with that. You're not going to be able to hit the full thirty first time you start out, so begin where you can & work up. Say four minutes.
Also, no matter how many war films you've watched, and how hard you can punch a wall, don't ever think you should run in boots. Yeah, you feel tough as nails, but it'll impede your ability to do other things. In fact anything to do with your legs.

Smoking.
Just cut that shit out already. It's not big, it's not cool. Ok, it is cool. But if you're going to do the jogging, it'll fuck you up trying to do something you're already half dead doing.

Push ups.
Get rid of those man-boobs (pendulous though they may be) with push ups. Ok, the way you're doing them? That's wrong. Back straight, chest touching the floor. Yeah, agonizing? Then it's working. (BONUS - While in immense post-many-pushup pain, do hilarious impressions of Sen. John McCain by being unable to lift your arms above your head)

Follow these simple steps, and you too could soon have ROCK HARD ABS!!!